As we all know, you can’t please all of the people all of the time, and with a conference that caters to 2,500 people all practicing under the broad description of Design, there are bound to be varying complaints.

Myself, I have mentioned that the space seemed too large and spread out; Armin felt it was just right. Two years ago, many were annoyed by the focus of the “Power of Design” conference in Vancouver, now we find this one too broad. Some, like myself, enjoy the tangential discussions, where others want to focus on graphic design. The younger audience wants to see the big names; the older audience wants to see someone new. Some people want to think and theorize, others want a lot of imagery. You can’t win in a situation like this, but I thought I’d just offer some gentle suggestions for a future conference, in case anyone is listening.

Design Star Mixers
Many of us go to conferences to see and meet the design stars whose work we’ve slept with under our pillows. To avoid desperate pleas to John Hockenberry to unite us with the ones we love, I think a little full-contact game would help connect people and give us all hands we won’t want to wash for weeks. I suggest Red Rover. On one side, Stefan Sagmeister, Steve Heller, Michael Bierut, Paula Scher, Seymour Chwast, April Grieman, Milton Glaser, Ze Frank, Massimo Vignelli, Bill Drentell, Sean Adams, Ellen Lupton, Armin Vit, etc. On the other, us. Imagine calling out “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Milton come over!!!” and as he comes running towards us you either stand strong and assimilate him into our team, or fake a weak link and let him come barrelling through the chain in the hope that he’ll pick you as his trophy to return to the stars’ team. Beware of Steve Heller—he’s tougher than he looks.

Day Openers
Replace early AM Yoga with “The Hair of the Dog”. Get up at 6:30 am and start drinking. This will loosen us all up to ask the questions we really want to ask, and get some seriously lively discussions going in the breakout sessions.

Politics
Stream the design discussions into two groups: Conservatives and Liberals. Allow, say 2,450 seats for the Liberals and an optimistic 50-seat room for the Conservatives. Possible Conservative discussions might be Military Insignia, Lobbying with Graphics, Branding for Exclusivity, and Wedding Invitations of the Rich and Famous.

Image vs. Words
Which format is really superior? This battle is carried out already in a subtle way, as conferencees trickle in to the heavy thinking sessions and flock to the Poster Design sessions. But let’s not be so polite: have it out in the same arena! In ring number one, Jessica Helfand and Meredith Davis discuss the relevance of the word “education” in Design Education; in ring number two, David Carson flashes an image of every design he’s ever made, without comment (he doesn’t even need to show up). This should answer the question all burning in our minds: “How important are graphics, really?”

Students
Special sessions for students could include funny stories of designers’ first and worst days in business. The lessons learned, the clients fired, the desperate sorrows of yesterday, and the affirmative belief that “tomorrow is another day.”

Professionals
Special sessions for professionals could include discussions of the Hubble Telescope, the Chemical Structure of Spider Webs, Lost Recipes from the 1950s, Cemeteries of Europe, and a workshop for Things to Make from Old Office Equipment (bring your 5.5-inch floppies).

Parties
Forget the theme for the conference, we need themed parties! Howabout “The Grid Party” with line-dancing, square-dancing and, for the advanced, break-dancing. Music by The Rigids. All drinks served neat.

Just a suggestion …