After putting charcoal, a stack of newspapers, ocote sticks, flammable liquid and then firing up the propane in an already hot grill, I realize that many of you may not have the appetite for the promised Part II. Nonetheless, I have to face this scuffle to its end.
I wanted to attend Tokion because last year Graham Wood — one of the most picky designers when it comes to what he reads and hears — raised his eyebrows in a delightfully scorning manner when I answered “no” if we had attended Tokion, “one of the best conferences on creativity”, as he put it. My interest was then piqued with the online prelude to Part I, so Bryony and I made our way on a brisk weekend to the column-ridden Great Hall at Cooper Union, pen in hand, to take notes and see what the (positive and negative) fuss was all about. My intention from the start was to gather notes about what men would say being in the company of only men on the stage. As some pointed out in the comments of Part I, it is the subtle inclinations, small gestures and under-the-radar behavior that adds up to uncomfortable situations and, perhaps, in this semi-out-of-context blurbs there is an indication of this. While other blurbs, I must admit, are humbling manifestations of pure dude behavior — sometimes to comedic effect, other times to objectionable effect.
Here then, is some loosely labeled and grouped commentary from the conference.
It was evident that the only thing on these guys mind was sex…
“I dry-humped my skateboard”
Chris Pastras
“One of our sextras is here”
John Cameron Mitchell
“It’s as sexy as a person. It’s totally sensual”
“It’s a form of love”
Olivier Zahm
“Being intimate with the material is very important”
Justin Theroux
…and their genitalia
“It’s hard to just have the balls to do it”
Chris Pastras
“We can’t just sit here and dick around”
David Cross
Clearly that was impeding their ability to put together coherent sentences
“We can work together to work on… whatever”
Jason LaBeach
“Yeah, I would have to say… Yeah”
Natas Kaupas
“It’s just, like, yeah”
Jerry Hsu
“Uh…uh”
Various
“So…yeah”
Various
“Or, whatever”
Various
Or carry a linear discussion
“I forgot the question”
Jason Lee
Myth has it that men have trouble expressing their feelings…
“Fuck it. I’m gonna put my heart out there today. I hope you take it”
Dumar Brown
“I don’t know how to express it”
Mike Mills
“I was a little sensitive about the whole thing”
Jason Lee
“One of the most magical moments”
Justin Theroux
“What I would write would be kind of retarded”
Phil Morrison
“You are expressing your frustration”
Greg Foley
“We won’t propose anything that in our heart of hearts don’t think will work”
Alex Burnard
“It’s tough”
Chris Pastras
…or talking openly about relationships
“Trust is huge”
Jason Lee
“That’s the part I focus on: Engagement”
Alex Burnard
“It’s who we want to have a relationship with”
Doug Holroyd
“If we want, kind of, like a long relationship with you…”
Jason LaBeach
“It depends on the kind of relationship you have”
Doug Holroyd
Men find humor in the wrong places
“You made Hitler look adorable”
David Cross
“The First Lady’s cooch”
Vernon Chatman
“We’ll give you tits for scrotum”
Chuck Tatham
“We are coming to get you motherfucker”
John Lee
“And shoot you in the head”
David Cross
“Hahahahaha”
All
“Really fucking funny”
Bob Odenkirk
Men also need to fulfill a curse quota, and these guys did not disappoint
“How much later, asshole?”
Jason Lee
“It doesn’t fucking matter”
“I don’t understand, like, what the fuck?”
“ It completely fucked me up”
Bob Odenkirk
“It’s fucking awesome”
“ These people are borderline retarded”
“You are a pretentious douchebag”
David Cross
“Holy shit”
“I was, like, fuck”
“Stupid shit”
“No, fuck it”
“Nobody gives a shit”
Various — very hard to keep track
At the end of the day, men are just insecure
“I feel like I shouldn’t be here”
Jerry Hsu
“I think I need my mom up here”
Chris Pastras
[Ed. Note: Chris’ mom literally walked on stage]
“Most comics have daddy issues”
Bob Odenkirk
“I’m rich”
Jerry Hsu
And Jason Lee may grow a mean mustache but he clearly doesn’t know his wordmarks from his fonts
“You came up with the Quicksilver font… um… the logo… um, thing”Jason Lee
What is disappointing about my notes is not the ironic stereotyping or vast amounts of swearing, rather the lack of valuable insights that one could learn from what was, in theory, a defining group of creative minds. In fact, “creativity” was seldom addressed. The conference is set up as a revolving door of panels that take on a monotonous tone rather quickly: many voices all talking at the same volume. Perhaps one or two solo presentations would help enliven the format and help deliver a strong point of view. The panels became even harder to cope with because they were purely one-dimensional.
Whether it was first time feature directors, low-volume magazines, street art or skateboarding culture, all the participants in each of the panels had the exact same story to tell as they were all, more or less, in the same position. Rather than have five independent, first-time filmmakers it would have been good to have one or two filmmakers that had done a big budget movie for the first time, and see how that differed from the others’ experience. Instead of having five editors from small magazines it would have been beneficial to have an editor from GQ, Vanity Fair or any of the other high circulation magazines. What if the skateboarding panel had Tony Hawk, someone who has embraced the marketability of the sport? What about having a representative from New York’s Citywide Vandals Task Force contribute to the street art panel?
Creativity Now 4 had bigger problems than lack of women participants: the conference lacked coherence, a connecting theme, something other than “it’s a bunch of cool people coming together in New York”; it had little depth, as everything had the same volume, the same taste; the panels needed better moderators, ones that could take the conversation to interesting places as opposed to simply being one more voice who either wanted attention or simply disappeared (surprisingly, comedian David Cross proved to be an excellent moderator, knowing when to be funny, when to change the subject and how to divvy the questions); the conference was in dire need of a master of ceremonies and ring-leader, someone that could position each panel and set up expectations and carry the crowd from the first panel on day 1 to last panel on day 2 — specially when everything was behind schedule. Most aspects of the conference were lackluster and perhaps it is only a sign of how young the conference is and that they can improve in the coming years. Judging from the crowd — an eclectic mix of young and old, bathed and unbathed, Williamsburg and TriBeCa, black and white, male and female, professionals and students — that turned out in high numbers (and high and low style), there is a need and desire for this conference and, for its own good, it can only get better.
the lack of valuable insights that one could learn from what was, in theory, a defining group of creative minds.
well it was basically david cross and a bunch of skateboarders...what did you expect ;-)
i think it would be hard to look past david cross' character on Arrested Development (the sexually confused, foot in his mouth, analystic therapist [which he shortens to analrapist] Tobias Fünke).
On Oct.22.2006 at 07:33 PM