10. Wagons East
I don’t remember this being bad or good. But it makes the list for, sadly, being the movie in which John Candy passed away during filming.
9. City Slickers 2 – The Legend of Curly’s Gold
Yeah, not really a Western per se, but the moment I see people with cowboy hats riding horses and acting weird I just assume it’s a Western. The first City Slickers was okay, the second wasn’t.
8. The Villain
I had no idea this existed but, get this, it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was, like, 12 years old. And it’s rated PG. It can’t be good.
7. Back to the Future Part III
The first was awesome, the second one was cool because of the utopian idea of having a sports almanac from the future that could make you rich, but the third? The ugly duckling of an otherwise groovy trilogy.
6. Bad Girls
Cute girls. Sucky movie.
Super hot girls. Sucky movie.
4. Young Guns II
Semi hot guys. Sucky sequel. Yeah, there was Bon Jovi’s “Blaze of Glory” that topped the charts, but no self-respecting Western-lover would be caught, dead or alive (get it?!), singing, humming, or even thinking it.
3. Once Upon a Time in Mexico
The last installment of Robert Rodriguez’s Mariachi trilogy. Loved the grittiness of the budgetless original. Loved the homage of the second one with Banders and Hayek. Never got around to seeing the third one. By choice.
2. Wild Wild West
Um: Will Smith. Western. No, thank you. It also stars Salma Hayek. Note to Hollywood: Want a good Western? Skip Hayek.
1. Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Knights
Oh Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. His pony tail was long that it started in the first movie and it ended in the sequel.